The sign on the wall, "Respect: Give it, Get it!" must apply to us first. It is idiotic and cruel to expect children to know what respect really is if we cannot demonstrate it for them.

Respect is a behavior that cannot be taught verbally. It can only be taught by example. We must not wait for them to show us respect before we respect them.  Children are far too intelligent to fall for that.

When a child must live with rules that assume he is guilty until proven innocent, that is not respect.

When a child's concerns are dismissed without a serious  hearing, that is not respect. A "serious hearing" means we must be prepared to change what we do on the basis of what we hear.

If we would like to be called "Mrs. So-And-So" or "Mr. So-And-So," it will do us no harm to extend a similar courtesy to the child.

Likewise, it will not diminish us to address a child as "Sir." We can afford the tiny affront to our fragile adult egos.

If a child's comfort is less important to us than our own, that is not respect. No left-handed teacher would sit all day in a desk designed specifically for a right-handed person. No adult will sit in a cold draft, or allow physical punishment in the name of games he does not wish to play. To expect a child to do these things is not respect.

When a child is given books we ourselves would not read, that is not respect. C. S. Lewis  said "A book worth reading only in childhood is not worth reading even then."

To expect a child to follow confusing, ill-planned textbooks and lessons is not respect. We believe we know what we mean when we write and speak, but if many children seem to have trouble understanding us, we may need to change the lesson.

We expect children to speak loudly and clearly to us. To respect our children, we should extend this  courtesy to them first - even if this means we must admit to mumbling, and take voice or drama lessons if necessary.

To give children make-work assignments to meet a district or state homework quota, is not respect.

Respecting children is an act requiring imagination! We must imagine their future selves as connected with their present selves. We must imagine them as growing human beings who will become tomorrow's adults. If we squelch their imagination and force them to conform where conformity is not  necessary, how shall we answer for the crime?

We can afford to lead the way; in fact, it is our unshakable responsibility to do so. If we want our children to grow up to maturity, we must not be childish. Likewise, if we want our adulthood to be bearable, we need to find opportunities to learn from our children

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